Recipe for World Domination \\ Rohan Dushyan

[DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME]

Components

● 32 bananas (as green as possible)

● 4 heads of celery

● 1 rutabaga (optional)

● Water

● 3 22 oz containers of Weber Kick’N Chicken Seasoning.

● 500 feet of paracord

● Any electronics you can get your hands on

● Duct tape

Procedure

Step 2: Eat the rutabaga raw (this really helps get you in the mindset) [OPTIONAL]

Step 9: Skin the bananas. Keep track of the bones and hair, it will be useful.

Step 3: Split the banana husks, lengthwise.

Step 12: Lobotomize the celery and extirpate any leafage.

Step 5: Make tiny incisions into the surface of the prepared celery and peel its fibers.

Step 5.1: Create a friendship bracelet of celery guts and banana innards for fun

Step 6: Get back on track.

Step 8: Weave the banana, celery fibers, and paracord together in the form of a Dutch braid.

Step 97: Create a brine composed of 37 parts Kick’N Chicken Seasoning to 2 parts water.

Step 10: Allow the soggy mess to dry for 3 weeks.

Step 216: Wrap the newly constructed biotic cable in duct tape to ensure consciousness

insulation.

Step 35: Attach to cable to yourself and victim, commandeering free will from their bodies

REPEAT AD INFINITUM :)