Unseen | Zoya Malik (11)

5 times a day,

Dawn, afternoon, midday, evening, dusk and night,

5 times a day,

5 times a day, I am reminded of the disappointment, the disillusionment, the dissatisfaction,

Because of what I believe, because of where I’m from, because of who I love,

As the azan goes off for the 5th time today, “ajoo” “ajoo beta for namaaz”,

Why should I pray for a God that doesnt accept me?,Why should I pray for a God that doesn’t love me?,

Why should I pray with a family that doesn’t support me?,

Why can’t I just be me?,

I want to love who I love,

Hiding who I am,

All of the untold, all of the secrets, all of the lies,

I am a shapeshifter, 

Trying to fit into a box that I didn’t create, 

I climb out of the box, I push past the limits, 

Humans are not made to fit into a box.

I am human. 

I’m sorry in advance if I let you down. 

To the people who created me, I am a phony,

Does my family know the real me?

Does anyone know the real me? 

Do I even know the real me? 

Unseen. 

Not just by my family, not just by my friends, but by myself.

Finding who I am, finding who I love.

When is it over?