Once upon a time, we’d met in a timeless time, your eyes awash with gold on that perfect, sunny day. Before that fateful day, I’d felt like a fish in the sea, struggling to stay myself amidst the pressures, the rushing currents. I’d felt left behind, washed up on the shore and beaten down by the scorching sun. Meeting you was like finding my anchor, my breath, my hope. With your guidance, I extended my legs and became a man.
Maybe, just maybe, I could stay ashore a little longer.
Maybe I could survive. Just a little longer.
I remember what you said when we first met. The way your lips shaped a hello before you skipped away with that small smile on that perfectly-shaped face. And I remember thinking, what can I do, to make you look this way once more.
I remember racing barefoot through the fields, hair whipping behind us as we dissolved in a fit of giggles. I remember walking together, hand in hand, comforting each other with our simple presence. We could understand each other without interrupting the silence. I remember coming to your house, setting my bags down beside the fresh batch of cookies you had prepared.
And I remember thinking, you are my reason to live. To stay ashore.
If only you’d thought so too.
I knew it was a selfish request, but I’d found myself wishing regardless. If only you’d come to me before you left. If only you’d told me why. We did not need words to understand each other, but how could I do so if you didn’t give me the chance?
Last night, I looked up at the stars, remembering how you used to point at them. You’d teach me all the constellations you knew and make up your own to connect the rest. Last night, I glanced out the window and saw us playing frisbee, catching fireflies, even going on our first bike runs. We used to spend our weekends together, tasting my newest dish while catching up.
Last night, I looked at anything. And thought of you.
We’d promised to meet every weekend. We’d promised amid a field of dandelions, wishing upon the scattering seeds.
How foolish of us.
Once upon a time, we’d met on a perfect summer day. You were my anchor to the shore, taking pity on the thrashing soul that was me. Once upon a time, we brushed our fingers, promising upon the flailing winds. That was the time I had with you.
A bright ray of golden light amid the suffocating darkness.
Take my hand and fill the sky with our memories, drawing our path along the stars. Set me a place at the table, filling my plate with the time we’ll spend together. Race me barefoot on a hunt for fireflies, connecting all the time we’ve spent apart from one other.
Please come to my house on the weekends, greeting me with a comforting glance. Please let me see your smile again, stretched out upon your perfect face.
Because if I could do it all again, I’d go back. To that perfect, golden time.
On that perfect, timeless, day.
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