My head is pounding, it feels like the entire world is trying to force its way into my brain through every crack in my body. My skin is too tight, or maybe too loose, I can never tell. It feels like my insides are trying to become outsides. Every sound is absorbed through me. I hear a pin drop. How is everything so loud? Someone starts shrieking.
Eventually something wet drips down onto my lap, for a moment I think I’m crying but this liquid is red. I see my hand, blood is oozing through it, steadily dripping down onto the floor. My eyes are leaking crimson water onto my white shirt and my ears have bled into my headphones, quickly ruining the one thing protecting me from the rest of the world before spilling out onto my shoulders.
I run.
I run and run and run. I run until I stop hearing the shrieking sound. I run until the blood on my clothes has dried. I run until I don’t know where I am. Suddenly it’s silent, I can’t hear the sound of my ragged breathing and it’s heaven. I am alone, surrounded by only soft, fuzzy flowers. There is a light breeze, cooling my hot body and filling my lungs with air. Slowly, the blood disappears, I stop feeling like I’m being stabbed by 1000 tiny needles, all insistent on seeing what’s inside my body despite my protests.
Eventually I can hear again, my ears no longer blood-filled; there’s music coming from somewhere but instead of it sounding like nails on a chalkboard it’s just a soft, relaxing tune, one that lulls me into a sweet bliss. I sink down to my knees, allowing the silky flowers to envelop me with their soft touch.
I don’t know when I closed my eyes or when I fell asleep but eventually I wake, now feeling lighter than before. I look around, it’s my room but it’s different, almost quieter somehow. It feels bigger and the loud colors of my walls are slightly muted, they don’t seem to hurt my eyes like normal.
Three days later I find a single flower under my pillow. It’s wilted and the stem is brittle but when I touch the petals they’re velvety soft. One of them falls into my lap and I pick it up, holding it as though I am holding a precious gem. I set it on my nightstand, a silent reminder of the sanctuary I found among the chaos.
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