[DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME]
Components
● 32 bananas (as green as possible)
● 4 heads of celery
● 1 rutabaga (optional)
● Water
● 3 22 oz containers of Weber Kick’N Chicken Seasoning.
● 500 feet of paracord
● Any electronics you can get your hands on
● Duct tape
Procedure
Step 2: Eat the rutabaga raw (this really helps get you in the mindset) [OPTIONAL]
Step 9: Skin the bananas. Keep track of the bones and hair, it will be useful.
Step 3: Split the banana husks, lengthwise.
Step 12: Lobotomize the celery and extirpate any leafage.
Step 5: Make tiny incisions into the surface of the prepared celery and peel its fibers.
Step 5.1: Create a friendship bracelet of celery guts and banana innards for fun
Step 6: Get back on track.
Step 8: Weave the banana, celery fibers, and paracord together in the form of a Dutch braid.
Step 97: Create a brine composed of 37 parts Kick’N Chicken Seasoning to 2 parts water.
Step 10: Allow the soggy mess to dry for 3 weeks.
Step 216: Wrap the newly constructed biotic cable in duct tape to ensure consciousness
insulation.
Step 35: Attach to cable to yourself and victim, commandeering free will from their bodies
REPEAT AD INFINITUM :)