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wired \\ Jolie Goulakos

Sometimes you walk around carrying hundreds of pounds on your back, and it still somehow feels like everything is right where it should be. Your backpack full of assignments you don’t have time to understand how to complete, but at least they’re organized into color coded folders. Each question has an answer written under it, even if you’re struggling in the subject.


We’re all given a set amount of wires that hold us stable. Some have hundreds, strategically placed to be as strong as possible, while some have very few, precariously placed, threatening to snap at any moment. And some have just learned how to make 20-30 wires fit and hold them up. Some have gone and found more wires to hold them up, while others continue to have theirs snap.


So say you have one left, holding you up the best it can, and all of the sudden someone bumps into you in the hall, and you drop whatever you’re holding, and it goes everywhere. That wire is done. You’re flying through the air all the way to the bottom, watching your papers slide across the hall floor, under people’s feet, and under closed doors, and all of the sudden it hits you: you’re going to be late for your next class. People are looking back at you, four people are handing you papers, and you hear someone laughing and that's how it feels to hit the bottom of the ground under everyone else held up by tough, sturdy, numerous wires.


When you don’t have any wires, any number, no matter how precariously placed, seems like luxury. If you had any, even one, maybe you’d huff and pick up your papers, and trudge to class, but when you have none, tears slip. Tears slip, hands shake, and faces crinkle like your papers under everyone's shoes, and now you’re the kid who cries over dropping things in the hallway.


Nobody knows that you started with a ton of wires. Nobody knows that each one snapped because something pulled and pulled and didn’t let up, and there was only so much you could take.


Sometimes it feels like not a soul cares about the fact that you were on your last wire when they all have their own to worry about.



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