Mvt. I - Introduction
Hi, Stranger.
You may not know who I am, what my deal is, and could care less... I mean, nobody would willingly listen to what I have to say. Nobody understands. Nobody knows what it’s like to be in my shoes. And I get it, you have your own life. I’m just a regular Asian girl in high school with a plausible GPA, too many forehead wrinkles from falling asleep in class, and painfully deep finger calluses from practicing the violin. But can I be frank for like two minutes? Hmm…how to explain… Well, bouncing off my last thought, I play the violin. I try my best to practice 40 hours a day to appease Ling Ling. And without even opening my search engine, I know that if I were to search “how many people in the world play the violin,” I’d be staring at a very, very enormous number. The thing is, even though I know it’s note true, it feels like those around me are playing the French Horn, the drums, the harp. They rhythmically tap the timpani, saw away at whole notes on the viola, slide recklessly at the trombone. Music is supposed to be a sense of unison; The world is an orchestra made up of beautiful harmonies and melodic symphonies. Yet the second I play, all of that pleasant, immaculate sound ends in a harsh cacophony.
Pardon my manners. I’m tenth-grader Chloe Yu. Ohio is where I live, 2021 is the year. In a nutshell, we’ve been stuck in a global pandemic for a whole year, school is the farthest from normal, and nothing is the same as before. I don’t know about you, but when I first realized the year 2020 had been so close, I had thought, Wow. Even the number looks perfect. Ha. Ha. What a “great” year. I’m sorry, but being in quarantine, never being able to get out of your own house, isn’t “great” to me. Virtual concerts and online classes don’t sound “great” to me. Stress, frustration, and burnout are not the definitions of “great” to me.
So there you go, whether you like it or not, that’s my deal. I’m in one of the most competitive school districts in the state. It's the last week of the fourth quarter before sophomore year ends, I wish that everything is done- if not possible at least close to- perfect. You know what they say! Sophomores suffer-more! Welp, gotta go cram; finals are coming up.
Later,
Chloe
05/30/21 - Last week of the 4th quarter
Mvt. II - Exposition
So. Stranger. Hi, again.
How is your blissful life going? Aren’t you just so thrilled right now? You’re probably overjoyed, elated, unworried, untroubled, without the slightest care in the world. Euphoric if you will. You’ve found your part in the melody. Your life hums with perfect harmony…
I haven’t felt that way in over a year. Ever since this pandemic started, I’ve literally been worrying about something every second of my life. Do people like me? My teachers? My friends? That one really hot guy in my Forensics class? Why am I trying so hard? What is the point of life? Why do I exist? Why don’t I fit into the melody? What if I fail my auditions? What if I don’t bid out to the State Tournament? Will I even graduate? Am I a disappointment? What if I fail college? How do I stop making myself think thoughts?
It’s like I’m stuck in this never-ending…
Worriness.
Chloe
06/1/21 - 3 more days until the end of the 4th qtr.
Mvt. III - Development
Hey,
Final today. Super stressed. Tests. Violin. English Project due Friday. All at once. Tournament on the weekend. Deadlines. Too much blue light. Homework due. Auditions. Math test Monday. Disarray. AP Biology Wednesday. APUSH reading due tomorrow. Everything. Now. Wish you were here.
Whoever you are.
Chloe
06/02/21 - 2 days until the end of the 4th qtr.
Mvt. IV - Recapitulation
Hello Stranger.
How’s it been for you? It’s finally the first day of...wait for it… SUMMER BREAK! Oh, and let me tell you. It feels SO good to be able to breathe again.
Come to think of it, it’s kinda cool to be able to say “I survived school during a global pandemic” don’t you think? Hey, I actually lived after having school all virtual for months. I took Virtual assessments. I had virtual concerts. I played virtual games. Heck, I went to virtual birthday parties. Then, I went to school with the whole “you can only take your mask off while eating” thing and the “no congregating; single file” stuff. It was like being in preschool all over again. And through all the disharmony, I’ve been so… what’s that one word? Starts with an R...Resonance? Rallentando? R…R…Resilient! Yes, that’s the one. (Okay, fine. So maybe my English still needs more work.)
I’m so grateful too. For people like you, who will actually listen to my rants and thoughts. Thankful to my teachers, who got me through it all even when the world was throwing me more than I could catch. Thankful to my family, who love me, support me, forgive me. For my wonderful friends who helped me through the toughest of the tough. And for my tiny violin, that got my story through.
Overall, I’m proud. Proud of me. Like really proud. Like I-want-to-bring-us-all-into-a-big-giant-hug proud. Like I-feel-like-I-conquered-the-world proud. Like I’m-kinda-indebt-to-my-friends-family-and-teachers-but-it’s-okay proud. Like I-finally-found-my-part-of-the-melody proud.
Chloe
06/5/2021 - 1st day of summer break
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