“Hello?” a voice says.
You sit up straight. You’ve been monitoring the line for quite a while now. The guy you’re looking for is suspected of money laundering and a bunch of other illegal stuff (you’ve been napping instead of reading the case file, but you’re sure it’s a pretty big deal), and this could probably be huge for you.
“Who is this?” asks another voice.
You’ve been nursing a hot chocolate (coffee gives you intense anxiety) for a couple of hours, and your boss is too cheap to turn on the heat. Bundled in an inordinate amount of sweaters and blankets, you nudge your mittened hand towards the volume button. A scalding splash of cocoa meets your lap in a less than pleasant greeting. Great, now it looks like you’ve soiled yourself.
“This is Mike. Listen buddy, I need you to tell you something.”
You lean forward in anticipation.
“You know you can trust me, man.”
You tap your fingers on your desk. You don’t know exactly what you’re looking for, but just as that Supreme Court guy from the obscenity court case said, you’ll know it when you see it.
“Confidential, okay?”
“Confidential. Okay.”
Interesting. It seems that these criminal masterminds have a lot in common with those two teenagers from The Fault in Our Stars.
“Do you think Jim’s been kind of… off, lately?”
Are you supposed to be writing these names down? You should probably start writing these names down. You search for a pencil in the drawers of your desk. Why can’t you find a pencil? This is a desk in an office and you can’t find a pencil?
“Yeah. I’m worried about him. But at the same time, he’s like…”
“Like, disrespectful, almost?”
“Yeah, like super rude and stuff. And I get that you’re stressed out, ‘cause like, it’s pretty stressful to run a Ponzi scheme, you know? But like, we’re all running a Ponzi scheme, it’s not just you.”
You jerk awake. This is definitely important, but you can’t seem to remember what exactly a Ponzi scheme is.
“Yes, I totally understand what you mean. It’s just so hard to work with him now, you know? It’s like, at this point I might just hire a hitman.”
“And speaking of people who are hard to work with… Rob has really been getting on my nerves lately. He’s always calling and bragging about ‘how many lower class families he’s scammed’ and ‘how he’s climbing up the pyramid faster than us.’ It’s really getting to a point where I just feel like… what you’re saying can be really demoralizing for all of us. Is it just me?”
You nod your head enthusiastically. This Rob guy seems like a real jerk. Who does he think he is? People these days.
“No, thank god someone finally said it. It’s not just you, it’s literally everyone. Like, the guys we just recruited who invested? Hate him. The woman who lost all her money because of her investment in us? Hate him.”
“God… I didn’t know it was this bad. But I’m really grateful we can talk about it together, you know? Otherwise, I’d go nuts.”
You wipe a tear from your eye. Friendship is such a beautiful thing.
“I know. It’s just so difficult working in a place where you’re just trying to do your best to scam people of their life savings and other people just ruin it for you. Like, what are their morals, even?”
“Exactly. Man, you’re such a great guy to talk to. I’d trust you with my life, dude. I gotta get going soon. Good talk.”
“Bye! See you tomorrow!”
The line clicks.
What were you supposed to be doing again?
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